My Thoughtful Place

A place to ponder, ruminate and meditate about family and life.

Where are We Supposed to Be?

Where are we supposed to be? This question has been haunting me for the last few days. Let me give you a little background. When our 6 year old was 9 months old, we were informed by the minister at our former church that children belonged in the nursery, not in the worship service. Now she had a lot of stranger anxiety at that point and we weren’t going to dump her in with a stranger and have her petrified for an hour. And besides, she was exceptionally good and did not cause any disturbance. But no discussion was to be had, so we left the church I been brought up in. It also meant leaving the choir and the friends that I had there.

A little less than a year after we left that church, some friends of mine from a community chorus invited me to sing with them at their church for their Christmas Cantata. We have been attending that church ever since. However, this church has been loosing a lot of people lately. For quite some time now, the families with children have slowly been leaving to go to other churches. There were only a few left this past year, and the other family with a 6 year old and 5 year old just decided this past week that they were leaving as well. This basically means that there will be no Sunday school for our children because there just aren’t enough children left to have it.

I had dinner last night with my 2 best friends from my original church. We haven’t kept in touch quite as much as we said we would because like everyone else, our lives are very busy. But last night I realized just how much I miss seeing them every week at choir and church. While I really like the people in the choir and at the church we now attend, I haven’t created any really close friendships there. And girlfriends are so important.

All of this has made me feel kind of hollow right now. I want to do what is best for my children. I know the attitudes at my former church haven’t changed much but they do have a Sunday school. I know the people at the church we now attend would be there for us if we had any need at all. I know they’re trying to improve things, but it isn’t working. I know dh has no desire at all to go back to our old church because he said he never felt completely comfortable when we were there. Our present church has no youth group, isn’t going to have a Sunday school now and doesn’t have a nursery even though they are much more “kid friendly” during worship services.  And I miss my girlfriends.

I’m feeling lost. God, where do you want us to be????

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July 30, 2008 Posted by | Children, Church, Family, Friends | Leave a comment

Twenty Things to Remember

I received this in an e-mail today.  I thought everyone should remember these things and wanted to share them.

“Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could; some
blunders and absurdities have crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow
is a new day; you shall begin it serenely and with too high a spirit to be
encumbered with your old nonsense.”

Ralph Waldo Emerson

TWENTY THINGS TO REMEMBER
(author unknown)

1. Faith is the ability to not panic.

2. If you worry, you didn’t pray. If you prayed, don’t worry.

3. As a child of God, prayer is kind of like calling home every day.

4. Blessed are the flexible, for they shall not be bent out of shape.

5.When we get tangled up in our problems, be still. God wants us to be still so He can untangle the knot.

6.Do the math. Count your blessings.

7.God wants spiritual fruit, not religious nuts.

8. Dear God: I have a problem. It’s me.

9. Silence is often misinterpreted, but never misquoted.

10. Laugh every day, it’s like inner jogging.

11.The most important things in your home are the people.

12. Growing old is inevitable, growing up is optional.

13. There is no key to happiness. The door is always open. Come on in

14. A grudge is a heavy thing to carry.

15.He who dies with the most toys is still dead.

16.We do not remember days, but moments. Life moves too fast, so enjoy your precious moments.

17. Nothing is real to you until you experience it, otherwise it’s just hearsay.

18. Its all right to sit on your pity pot every now and again. Just be sure to flush when you are done.

19. Surviving and living your life successfully requires courage.The goals and dreams you’re seeking require courage and risk-taking. Learn from the turtle, it only makes progress when it sticks out its neck.

20. Be more concerned with your character than your reputation. Your character is what you really are, while your reputation is merely what others think you are. No matter the storm, when you are with God, there’s always a rainbow waiting. Leave gentle fingerprints on the soul of another for the angels to read.

I don’t want to get to the end of my life and find that I lived just the length of it, I want to have lived the width of it as well.

August 22, 2007 Posted by | Children, Family, Health | 3 Comments

In Memory of Mikki

Easter Sunday, April 8, 2007

Today was one of the saddest days of my life.  My first baby girl, my cat Mikki, died today.  She would have been 17 years old sometime this month.  I don’t know exactly when she was born as she was a stray.  She was only a few weeks old when I got her around Memorial Day weekend in 1990.  She was a little tiny furball who was afraid of her own shadow.  She moved with me from my apartment, to my townhouse, and finally to the house we live in now.  She was always a tiny cat, but in the last few months she became very skinny.  Her appetite was still good, though.  But I guess her heart was worn out.  I will miss her terribly.

I do want to share a favorite story with you.  The first Christmas she was with me, I came home from work one night to find that the bottom string of lights on my Christmas tree weren’t working.  I checked the string and found that one of the sockets was missing a bulb.  I thought it strange, but just put in a new bulb.  A few nights later, the same thing happened again.  I still had no clue what was going on.  A day or two later, someone came to my apartment and I went to answer the door in my stocking feet.  Now, my door was at the bottom of an interior flight of stairs.  I felt a lump under the carpet, and when I looked I found the two light bulbs together under the rug!  At that point, I knew that one of my two cats must have had something to do with it, but I didn’t know which one.  Until a few hours later when I heard a noise at the bottom of the stairs.  I went and looked, and there was Mikki sticking her paws under the rug looking for her buried treasure!  To this day, I have no clue how she managed to pull the bulbs out of the sockets without breaking them.

Rest in Peace, my sweet angel!

May 2, 2007 Posted by | Life and Death | 1 Comment

The Good and the Bad

I’ll start with the good.  Yesterday, my precious daughter rode her 2 wheel bike without training wheels for the first time!  She was so proud of herself.  She was riding her 12″ Dora bicycle.  It’s really too small for her now.  We’re going to have to get her a 16″ bike.  She and I were looking at some online last night and of course, they all come with training wheels.  She says to me “We don’t need the training wheels now Mommy!”  Of course, she still needs me to push her to get going and she hasn’t quite figured out how to turn around yet.  But I bet she’ll have that all down pat in a few weeks.  She’s growing so fast, but I love to see how happy she is when she discovers she can do something new. 

What’s really funny is how much she loves numbers.  She’s constantly asking ‘what’s x plus y’.  My husband thinks she’s crazy.  He hated math!  Obviously, she already loves it.

The bad:  I think my endometriosis is on the warpath.  When we were going through all the fertility testing before dd was born, I was diagnosed with severe endo.  It’s bad enough that my one fallopian tube is adhered to my bowel and the dr wouldn’t try to remove that for fear of rupturing my bowel.  For the most part, I’ve only really suffered monthly cramps.  But a little over a month ago, I developed a constant ache in what I’ll call my crampy area.  It’s been growing steadily since and now I feel as though I have constant cramps.  I really think the adhesions have attached to my c-section scar now.  I need to make a doctors appointment and see what my treatment options are.  Unfortunately, I know they are either drugs or surgery.  And there really is no cure for endo.  This chronic pain is really wearing me down.  Any prayers you could send my way would be appreciated.

Good night!

April 26, 2007 Posted by | Children, Health | 1 Comment

Hoping for a Healthy April

Did you ever feel like you lost a whole month?  That’s how I feel about March.  First we had the stomach virus which began the 2nd week in March.  My little man was sick for 5 days, my princess picked it on the 5th day(on her 5th birthday no less) and had it for 3, and then I got it.  I felt lousy for about 5 days.  It was almost a week after that cleared that my son began the 5 day fever with cold.  I’m still recovering from the cold.  Thankfully, the almost 2 yr old bottomless pit is back to normal.  He’s always hungry!  I don’t know where he puts it.  Today, I asked him if he had a hole in his stomach and he said “yes” as he trotted into the kitchen.  What is he going to be like when he’s a teenager?  I don’t think we’ll be able to keep enough food in the house.

 I’m also very tired.  I think I’m just worn out from all the sickness.  What I really need is a week on a tropical island.  Sun and sand.  And maybe a pina colada or two!  But that isn’t going to happen right now.  So I think I’ll go to bed and dream about it!

If I don’t get a chance to write anymore this week, may everyone who reads this have a Blessed Easter!

April 2, 2007 Posted by | Children, Family | 2 Comments

This and That

It’s been awhile since I’ve written anything, so I’ve had lots of time to think.  Now it’s time to put some of it on paper, so to speak.

 Firstly, I have been in touch with the composer of the song on this blog.  She is a beautiful person!  She has graciously sent the sheet music to me for our church choir.  She is very interested in having the piece performed.  At this point, I don’t know when we will be singing it.  Our choir director is so busy with Easter music that she hasn’t had time to review the piece.  I am so looking forward to singing it though!

Unfortunately, my children have been sick for the last week.  Fortunately, they are both feeling better now.  But this also means that I have not left the house for over a week.  During my sons adoption, while we were waiting for ICPC, I felt more homesick than I ever thought I could be.  I’m beginning to think that it had a large part of  “cooped up” in it now.  I need to get out of this house!  Thankfully, we’re all well enough for church tomorrow.  I think we need to go shopping for something tomorrow.  Anything!

 I’m going to start the next part of my random thoughts with a single question:  Who came up with the lame brained idea that our planet has ever had a stable climate?  Or a stable anything?  And now for the more scientific part of our program.  Just for reference, I am a degreed Chemical Engineer from a highly regarded university.

Let’s start at the beginning of an experiment.  I want to measure how long it takes water to come to a boil from 70 degrees F on the front right burner of my stove.  The first thing I must do is make sure the water is stable at 70 degrees.  I must also know the barometric pressure and the humidity, for they will have an influence.  These bench marks are my steady state, the foundation for my experiment.  Without a steady state, there is no experiment.  If there are too many variables, there is no experiment.  In fact, there can be only one variable in a true experiment.  In my example, I could either run the test at different flame heights, or I could run the test on days of different humidity, but I could not change both variables at the same time or my results would be invalid. 

So my question about “Climate Change” is where is the steady state?  Where is the basis?  The starting date used by “everyone” seems to be 1880 when temperature records began to be kept.  And yes there has been a small increase in the earth’s temperature since then.  But what was going on before then?  Was it steady until 1880 and then suddenly started increasing?  Could there have been a decrease in global temperatures in the hundred years before 1880?  And a question that has truly been bothering me:  Have these temperatures been measured at exactly the same locations with the exact same methods continuously since 1880?  Because if they’re not being measured in the sames places, and they’re not using the same methods (or equipment), you’ve added more variables into the experiment.  And speaking of variables, just how many variables are there besides industrial manmade “greenhouse gases” which could change the earth’s temperature?  (By the way, we create “greenhouse gas” everytime we breathe out.)  Gas production variables: population change since 1880, volcanoes, the ocean and livestock “gas” are some off the top of my head.  Other variables that would change the earth’s temperature: sunspots, or more precisely solar flares from sun spots, and the sun’s changing diameter.  So there are just too many variables for a conclusive experiment. 

And I must add before I go, that I find the fact that the term “greenhouse gases” has become a scare word extremely upsetting.  Without these “greenhouse gases”, there would be no life on this planet.  These gases, which include water vapor, are what maintain our life supporting atmosphere.  They are what filter out the excess radiation from the sun, and what keeps enough warmth on our planet for life to survive.  Without them, Earth would be as cold and barren as the moon.  I, for one, am thankful for Greenhouse Gases!

 Goodnight!

March 17, 2007 Posted by | Little Bit of Everything | 1 Comment

May You Always Have Peace

As I was playing with the widgets here, I noticed there was one to add music to my blog.  I decided to check it out.  I didn’t know exactly what I was searching for, so I just browsed around the catagories.  And then I came across this song: “May You Always Have Peace”.  I had never heard it before, nor had I heard of the performers.  But as soon as I started listening, it struck something inside of me.  I think it is just so beautiful.  And it is definitely something I wish for everyone.  In listening to it, I thought it would be a beautiful song to sing in church.  So I decided to see if I could find the sheet music for it.  I searched for quite awhile last night and have come to the conclusion that they have not published it.  I think I will have to contact them and see if I can buy it directly from them.  I truly hope so.

 Unfortunately, I didn’t get my singing escape tonight.  I’ve come down with a bad cold and had to skip choir practice.  I don’t think I could have sung very well, and I certainly did not want to give it to anyone else.  I hope to be feeling better by church on Sunday. 

God gives me the gift of music. My gift to Him is to share it with all my heart.

February 23, 2007 Posted by | Singing | 5 Comments

My First Post!

I’ve decided to call this My Thoughtful Place.  A place where all the random thoughts in my head can spill forth.  I don’t know how often I will write, or how coherent it will be.  We will just have to see where my mind takes me. 

 My days are mostly filled with the sounds of my children.  I love talking to them, learning how an almost 5 year old thinks, and watching my almost 2 year old learn more and more words.  But I need a place for all the adult thoughts that build up.  Many of these thoughts will be those that I primarily share with God.  And now I’ll be sharing them with you as well.

Today my thoughts are filled with saddness from the past few days.  We attended the funeral of a dear friends mother yesterday.  She sang with us several years for our church’s Christmas Cantata.  She was a wonderfully sweet lady who we all lovingly called Mom.  At the same time, a dear online friend was also attending her uncle’s funeral.  As I sat at the funeral, both families and their losses filled my mind.  My heart was breaking for all of them.  Even though I know they are both now free from the pain that their cancers were causing them, and that they are in the company of God, I am still filled with sadness.

At the same time, my heart is filled with joy and expectation for another dear friend.  And a little bit of anxiety as well.  They are adopting their first child, and the baby is due any day now.  I am praying that J will be secure in her decision to place, and that my friends will not suffer the heartache of a failed match. 

And now I must get back to the world outside my mind.  The one that is filled with childen and laundry and love.

May all of you who read this have a Blessed Day.

February 21, 2007 Posted by | Life and Death | 3 Comments